Anger shows up as:
- explosive, out-of-proportion aggressive outbursts
- over-reactive hostility to insignificant irritants
- swift and harsh judgmental statements made to or about others
- body language like tense muscles (i.e., clenched fist or jaw), glaring looks, or refusal to make eye contact
- passive aggressive patterns like social withdrawal, lack of compliance in following rules or directions, complaining about people behind their backs, and refusing to cooperate
- challenging or disrespectful attitudes toward authority figures
- abusive language meant to intimidate others
Destructive anger can take many forms. It can be expressed in rage that is out of control either verbally or physically, through snapping at someone or being unkindly critical. We can also express anger through cold, icy withdrawal that punishes the other person by shutting them out, shunning them, or refusing to acknowledge their attempts to relate to us. These destructive ways of expressing anger damage relationships and our own sense of self-esteem and often generate feelings of guilt and shame later. I am a counsellor in Ottawa who can assist in identifying constructive alternatives to destructive anger.
The buildup of unexpressed anger can result in an inappropriate outburst at a later time. Counselling can help make you more aware of your angry feelings, the circumstances surrounding them, the target of them, the causes of them, and how they are shown. With increased understanding of these factors, you can then determine what some alternative positive responses could be instead of burying or blurting out your feelings of anger.
Through therapy for anger, Marlise helps people in:
- decreasing the intensity and frequency of angry feelings and increasing the ability to appropriately express angry feelings when they occur
- developing awareness of current angry behaviors, clarifying where the behaviors originated, and alternatives to aggressive anger
- coming to an awareness and acceptance of angry feelings while developing better control and more serenity
- becoming capable of handling angry feelings in more constructive ways
- demonstrating respect for other people and their feelings
Learn new ways to relate to your anger.